


i wasn't loved (it's as simple as that)

by shuuos



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bitterness, Developing Friendships, Gen, brief mention of eye trauma, local teen does self-care by adopting random kiddos, lots and lots of bitterness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:40:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21753148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuuos/pseuds/shuuos
Summary: "oh, i shall have to stay here for a whilein glassy water, in a seaweed net,until this fact and i are reconciled:i wasn't loved, it's as simple as that."- Maria Pawlikowska-Jasnorzewska





	i wasn't loved (it's as simple as that)

**Author's Note:**

> the pov is one of my ocs, angel!

angel remembers the day sying left. **  
**

it was early in the morning - they were six, watching their fourteen-year-old sister from their side of the room. “if dad asks, i went out to take a walk,” she said, “don’t worry, i’ll come back for you, once i can.” so angel let her go. after all, she wasn’t leaving _forever_. it would take a while, but sying would come back. “maybe three months? it shouldn’t take any longer than a year,” she promised.

well. she’s nine years late, if she’s ever coming back.

it’s strange to think about now. they’ve not-known sying for longer than they’ve known her. for the first few years they waited patiently, so, so patiently, it felt like a dream that they were waiting to wake up from. nothing mattered, because soon they’d be across the country with their sister, away from the new york smog.

they never woke up. not really. oh, they live, and they carry themself across the battlefield on the streets, if only because _someone_ has to treat them softly. but they’re not awake.

a year passes. and another. and another.

they leave, too, ten years after sying. people did always say they took after her.

it’s somewhere in rhode island that they meet rain. she’s a whole two years younger than them, and they can’t stop thinking about how that’s how old sying was. they hang around, because the kid has a car and they have a license so why not?

the two of them find cas a little while after that. she’s the around same age as rain, but she’s at least an inch taller than angel and packed with muscle. the poor kid’s jumpy and quiet and painfully unsure of herself, so angel takes her under their wing too.

it’s strange, being the older one after years of being the younger sibling. they have to stay calm, even when it turns out rain hunts _monsters_ for a living and cas is completely willing to jump into the business. they have to stay calm through the poltergeists and demons and strange shadowy figures. they have to stay calm when _something_ rips their eye out and they have to stay calm when they find said eye in the river barely a day afterwards.

even so, they can’t imagine leaving. not when cas is so interested in all their favorite bands (just a little more work, and they can get her started on a years-late emo phase) and rain keeps on stealing their good hoodies.

so as they drive along the darkening highway, watching the two kids from the rear-view mirror, angel comes to two conclusions.

  1. they might actually enjoy this endless road trip. maybe, if they stop at cinnabon next time they’re at a mall.
  2. they don’t know why sying left them. they don’t think they’ll ever get it. but that doesn’t matter now.



and just like that, they’re awake

**Author's Note:**

> yeah uh this makes sying seem like a terrible person but trust me she's doing her best angel just doesn't know


End file.
